Realizing I'm an Emotional Eater and Understanding What That Means
There has been a lot of talk about emotional eating and being addicted to food. I have heard that term for years and never really understood it but labeled myself the same. I used it as an excuse for my bad food behavior but did not take the time to look deeper and really understand what it meant for me or plan what I was going to do about it. The first part of the journey to weight loss and a healthier lifestyle is identifying what your food/weight issues are and understanding what that means for you. What are your triggers?Why is your response to emotional upheaval a food based solution? This is a step that only you can take. No one knows you better than you and you have to dig deep into some issues you do not want to face to find the answer or even get close to one. I thought it would be good for me to share mine as a way to be transparent and keep myself accountable.
I am an emotional eater. I used to eat with every emotion. If I was happy, I would celebrate with food. If I was sad, I would comfort myself with food. Of course...this packed on the pounds. As I gained weight and became insecure about my appearance it got worse. I hated to be the center of attention especially after I got big. When I was angry or annoyed, I would eat to keep myself from speaking out because confrontation meant attention from the room and I wanted to avoid that at all costs. I am no wimp and if I felt disrespected, I would definitely speak up. No one in my life would ever make a derogatory comment about my size, so I believed, but people say a lot of hurtful things when they are angry and I just did not want to experience that. Whoever the person was, I knew our relationship would change for ever so I would keep my thoughts and emotions to myself. It was a convoluted, emotional tangle of bad eating and emotional habits. This behavior got started early and continued, unchecked, until 2016. 30+ years of bad eating habits. Once I understood this it was easy for me to identify the behavior as it happened and helped me curb it.
I started by using a food journal. Every bite of food or sip of liquid that passed my lips, I logged so I could better understand how many calories I was eating per day. My doctor put me on a 1200 calorie diet and I learned how many calories you need to eat to gain weight. Then I used MyFitnessPal to calculate how many calories I had actually been consuming. I used what I ate over the weekend as a model. I did not think I ate a lot so I was unprepared for the number. Breakfast was waffles with butter, syrup and bacon. Lunch was some sauteed potatoes O'Brien with bacon, cheese and sour cream. For dinner I had a whopper meal, large, from Burger King. I had a slice of Claim Jumpers Frozen pie for a snack. I put EVERYTHING in MFP including any oil I used to cook with. That was I ate on Saturday and Sunday. Total Calories each day: 5400. The total for the weekend was over 10,000 calories. No matter how long I stared at the numbers waiting for them to correct themselves, it was my reality. It was not the number of times I ate per day it was what I ate. I realized that I had a completely unhealthy relationship with food and I had no clue about what a true serving size looked like or how to get the appropriate nutrition into my body. That was hard for me to understand at first but it really opened up my eyes to the fact that I was not struggling by myself and this is why so many people are dealing with weight issues. Every restaurant served huge meals...more than the recommended serving. My friend and I used to go to a favorite restaurant and we would have appetizers, 3-4 refills of some type of flavored (sugary) lemonade, our favorites steak dinner and dessert. Now realizing that the steak by itself was double the amount of protein I was supposed to eat in a sitting, I had that "AHA" moment and knew that I had to completely change any habits and thoughts regarding my food intake. With the help of my bariatric nutritionist, I learned what was an appropriate serving size, I learned how my body works with a Keto diet (VERY WELL) and I started the long process of changing my lifestyle.
Over the last two years, I have definitely changed a lot and am happy to mostly stick to my eating plan. The key, for me at least, is to take the foods I love and make them healthy. Tacos are my favorite food so I tossed out the shell, use ground turkey instead of beef and wrap it in lettuce. I replaced the sour cream with Greek yogurt (you cannot taste the difference) and I have tacos which are healthy, meets my nutritional goals and NO guilt. However, with all that said, being an emotional eater is still an issue and will continue to be one. At some point in my life I started using food to avoid messy emotions. I know that I will need therapy to deal with that issue. Finding a therapist on my health care plan is a long, drawn out process that I am still in the middle of. I wanted to work on my issues now instead of waiting until I found a therapist. I started researching emotional eating and how to correct it. I found a book, Never Binge Again by Glenn Livingston, which had helped me tremendously in dealing with my emotional eating. It has been a Godsend and has helped switch my mental attitude in regards to eating when emotionally triggered. It takes a lot of work and determination but so far, very good. I am hoping to find a therapist in the next 2-3 months.
This journey is not a sprint...it's a marathon. It will continue the rest of my life and that is the way it should be. There should never be a time where I am ignorant of what I am putting in my body and whether it is good for me. My body runs so much better now that I am listening to it and taking good care of it. Every challenge and struggle is worth it to feel healthy a good in my own skin.
I am an emotional eater. I used to eat with every emotion. If I was happy, I would celebrate with food. If I was sad, I would comfort myself with food. Of course...this packed on the pounds. As I gained weight and became insecure about my appearance it got worse. I hated to be the center of attention especially after I got big. When I was angry or annoyed, I would eat to keep myself from speaking out because confrontation meant attention from the room and I wanted to avoid that at all costs. I am no wimp and if I felt disrespected, I would definitely speak up. No one in my life would ever make a derogatory comment about my size, so I believed, but people say a lot of hurtful things when they are angry and I just did not want to experience that. Whoever the person was, I knew our relationship would change for ever so I would keep my thoughts and emotions to myself. It was a convoluted, emotional tangle of bad eating and emotional habits. This behavior got started early and continued, unchecked, until 2016. 30+ years of bad eating habits. Once I understood this it was easy for me to identify the behavior as it happened and helped me curb it.
I started by using a food journal. Every bite of food or sip of liquid that passed my lips, I logged so I could better understand how many calories I was eating per day. My doctor put me on a 1200 calorie diet and I learned how many calories you need to eat to gain weight. Then I used MyFitnessPal to calculate how many calories I had actually been consuming. I used what I ate over the weekend as a model. I did not think I ate a lot so I was unprepared for the number. Breakfast was waffles with butter, syrup and bacon. Lunch was some sauteed potatoes O'Brien with bacon, cheese and sour cream. For dinner I had a whopper meal, large, from Burger King. I had a slice of Claim Jumpers Frozen pie for a snack. I put EVERYTHING in MFP including any oil I used to cook with. That was I ate on Saturday and Sunday. Total Calories each day: 5400. The total for the weekend was over 10,000 calories. No matter how long I stared at the numbers waiting for them to correct themselves, it was my reality. It was not the number of times I ate per day it was what I ate. I realized that I had a completely unhealthy relationship with food and I had no clue about what a true serving size looked like or how to get the appropriate nutrition into my body. That was hard for me to understand at first but it really opened up my eyes to the fact that I was not struggling by myself and this is why so many people are dealing with weight issues. Every restaurant served huge meals...more than the recommended serving. My friend and I used to go to a favorite restaurant and we would have appetizers, 3-4 refills of some type of flavored (sugary) lemonade, our favorites steak dinner and dessert. Now realizing that the steak by itself was double the amount of protein I was supposed to eat in a sitting, I had that "AHA" moment and knew that I had to completely change any habits and thoughts regarding my food intake. With the help of my bariatric nutritionist, I learned what was an appropriate serving size, I learned how my body works with a Keto diet (VERY WELL) and I started the long process of changing my lifestyle.
Over the last two years, I have definitely changed a lot and am happy to mostly stick to my eating plan. The key, for me at least, is to take the foods I love and make them healthy. Tacos are my favorite food so I tossed out the shell, use ground turkey instead of beef and wrap it in lettuce. I replaced the sour cream with Greek yogurt (you cannot taste the difference) and I have tacos which are healthy, meets my nutritional goals and NO guilt. However, with all that said, being an emotional eater is still an issue and will continue to be one. At some point in my life I started using food to avoid messy emotions. I know that I will need therapy to deal with that issue. Finding a therapist on my health care plan is a long, drawn out process that I am still in the middle of. I wanted to work on my issues now instead of waiting until I found a therapist. I started researching emotional eating and how to correct it. I found a book, Never Binge Again by Glenn Livingston, which had helped me tremendously in dealing with my emotional eating. It has been a Godsend and has helped switch my mental attitude in regards to eating when emotionally triggered. It takes a lot of work and determination but so far, very good. I am hoping to find a therapist in the next 2-3 months.
This journey is not a sprint...it's a marathon. It will continue the rest of my life and that is the way it should be. There should never be a time where I am ignorant of what I am putting in my body and whether it is good for me. My body runs so much better now that I am listening to it and taking good care of it. Every challenge and struggle is worth it to feel healthy a good in my own skin.
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